Creating their world under spotlights

For 28-year-old Bharatanatyam dancer and LGBT rights activist Aniruddhan Vasudevan, dance was not something he always associated with sexuality, although others always seemed to make such connections. It was more a therapeutic space for him because "people always sensed I was different." For a young, male Bharata­natyam dancer who was growing up, he also realises he was lucky he did well in academics. "If I had been a bad student, life would have been so much harder for me," he reco­unts. What if you are a young, homosexual male Bharatanatyam dancer who is bad at studies, he muses.

Vasudevan began learning the south Ind­ian classical dance form at the age of six in his hometown Kumbakonam in the Cauvery belt - and laughs about being blissfully unaware of the power dynamics and politics of the texts students performed to. "I never faced any homophobia in the dance community, but I removed myself from it," he says, preempting negative reactions from the community once he "came out". "I am certainly not a trad­itionalist," he asserts about his style of dance. The portrayal of gender and power dynamics in traditional texts are not something he can easily come to terms with although he still performs. "It is deeply religious and not entirely respectful of all its subjects," he says of the dance form. Ironically, the religious nature of some Bharatanatyam performance texts is something that dancer Taejha Susheel relatesto closely. The 24yearold began learning dance in class four when he took it up as an extracurricular subject. He finds it easy to be a gay dancer, saying that "most male dancers are gay." He laughingly says, "The rest are bisexual." But whether that is true or not, personally he finds "it helped, being a homosexual."He explains that most songs invoke or are devoted to male gods and do not mention the dancers' gender, which makes it simpler for him. "I was taught the Bhakti tradition, so mostly I perform traditional Bharatanatyam." In fact the devotional nature of some of the pieces is what draws him closer to the texts. "I see the Lord Shiva as my husband when I am dancing. And I see myself as Shakthi. I do Bharatanatyam so I can connect with God, so why would I stop doing traditional pieces?" he shrugs.

Both dancers make references to the origin of the classical dance form and the history of Bharatanatyam. "It originated with Sadirattam," which Vasudevan goes on to explain was the court dance and also what devdasis performed in temples. "The dance form was reclaimed after that. It was purified, deeroticised, all its sexual tendencies were removed and it was made very secular, if you can call it that." This is another dispute he has with Bharatanatyam. Susheel also explains how Sadirattam moves were much more fluid and erotic than Bharatanatyam. Now male dancers have to move a certain way - "The Natya Shastra says how men should dance," he says.

But both men have never faced any discrimination or negativity from the dance community and in fact have received a lot of support from patrons and fans of the art. Neither of them puts up regular shows anymore, for different reasons. Susheel still practises and performs (he recently performed at Nirangal, an LGBT Performance Festival in Chennai) but he is busy doing his Masters in Polymer Technology. He casually expresses the average reaction of people not taking male dancers too seriously. "As a hobby, it's okay, but as a profession? They definitely think it's weird." One of his own parents echoes that sentiment, while the other is very supportive of his passion for dance. Luckily for him though, his guru Uma Maheshwari, is extremely encouraging. "My guru doesn't even know I'm gay," he grins. "We have a motherson type of relationship. I'm sure she senses it but we've never spoken of it."

In 2008, Vasudevan presented Alone Under the Lights, a typical Bharatanatyam solo repertoire for which he had "queered" some of the pieces, and his guru (Chitra Visweswaran) was very encouraging. But dance aside, he is busy with other things as well. "People are very supportive. They say they want to see more of me but I don't have the time."

For the past three years, he has been visiting Washington DC for collaborative projects with a dance company called Dakshina, hea­ded by Daniel Phoenix Singh. While he is there he also involves himself in LGBT acti­vities. But his dance and his sexuality can sometimes be completely separate entities too. "Why should I be seen only in that context? I get tired of always talking about my sexuality. If you think about it, our sexuality is the most private part of ourselves. And I make it my most public part! It doesn't always have to be this or that, but it's not always connected either," he explains.

Taejha Susheel seems to echo that sentiment, though his perspective is different. "Dance comes from the soul, not the body. My sexuality has nothing to do with

my dance. I can be anything I want to be when I am performing." He sticks with traditional pieces, though he veers away from them once in a way.

dakshayani@expressbuzz.com