The seven laws of commitment

1 Love and respect is about retaining individuality while not ignoring the partners’ dreams and hopes even though it may differ from yours. Warmth, care and affection is something that grows between the two over time.

2. Trust — Without trust no relationship can survive. Trust level is determined over some practical aspects of the relationship like money matters, spending time, confidentiality and making personal choices. Any commitment that is made, but not followed through will be nothing but empty, broken promises.

3. Honesty — This is a sensitive matter. It involves diligent evaluations about how much you want to reveal about your past, your career goals and dreams about future. Healthy partnership will certainly include sharing plans about having children and extending care for the parents. It is unacceptable and selfish to assume or conclude that your partner can compromise their beliefs and dreams to meet your expectations.

4. Spending time together — This is not a template to conclude the depth of a committed relationship. It involves having realistic expectations of being available for each other. It is but natural to want to spend all the waking hours with your loved ones. However, it is also perfectly okay to retain your independence and individuality inside this relationship. Because, the fact is you do have other roles to play in life like being a son/daughter and so on.

5. Being there for each other — Supporting each other through different stages of your lives — physically, financially and emotionally and through good times and in times of crisis is necessary. Emotional support should be a natural evolvement in any relationship and not a hardship to deliver.

6. Getting engaged — Engagement announcements are a public admission of your intention to commit to the other by taking the first step towards announcing marriage intentions. There is hope, confidence and determination to face the odds, if any may arise in future.  

7.  Proposal of marriage — This is a proposed intent of the ultimate future commitment to a life together. This is proposing a legally binding contract of commitment and has consequences if rules are broken or abused. Marriage is a public declaration of your commitment to one another and both of you commit to a life together in a ceremony of confirmation.

— therapist.saras@gmail.com